For reasons various and sundry, I have been confined to my home for more than a week.
House arrest?
I heard that. And NO.
This was a planned occasion, as it were, and I prepared for it by stocking up on all manner of frozen food goodness, namely Amy’s.
Up until this, er, thing, I had been wary of any organic or natural — okay, earthy-crunchy granola hippie — frozen foods because so many of them contain soy. Up until this, er, thing, soy had been on my “don’t eat” list. Thyroid, you see.
Now, however, soy is not only okay, it is encouraged, and so I went right to the earthy-crunch granola hippie section of the supermarket and filled my cart with a bunch of Amy’s Bowls and Burritos.
And, oh my word, I am a new woman. Not too much salt. Not really high in calories. Plenty of protein. Plenty of fiber. Plenty of flavor. Plenty of onion.
Yeah, that last one. I didn’t notice it, much the way someone who bathes in perfume or cologne will not notice how overpowering the fragrance is.
My man, however, noticed. He has been traipsing back and forth the whopping 2.4 miles between our abodes and he noticed in much the same way that one notices when another bathes in perfume or cologne. He came in this morning bearing the glory that is Luigi’s Italian ices as well as toilet paper (hey, I may have been confined, but I still have needs, people), put the ices in the refrigerator and the t.p. in the linen closet, came into the bedroom, and announced, “Your place reeks.“
“What?”
“Those meals you’ve been cooking. Every room but the bedroom smells like onion.”
“Does not.”
“Yes, it does. You’ll see when we go out later and you come back in.”
“Onion?”
“It stinks.“
“I can’t smell it.”
“You will.”
Harumph. So, while he slept — he works nights and thought it easier to crash at my place before taking me out on an errand today — I opened all the windows and aired the place out. It was still fairly early, and there’s usually a nice breeze coming through, and as far as I could tell, opening everything up took care of the onion smell.
But then we went shopping on the way home from my errand.
“Hold on, I need to get onions,” I said.
And look.
So, my friends, if you see a cloud of vapor over central Long Island on the news tonight, don’t be alarmed. It’s just me heating up some frozen food. Go try some! You may stink out your family and friends, but I can promise you’ll enjoy the food.
